No screwing in the cockpit.

I’m having a very busy day indeed. Flying Pete called and I admitted to spotting him doing his thing above Camps Bay beach. He invited me to go flying in his two-seater plane on Thursday. I invited him to join a few of us tomorrow night to watch a South African film. I also received a creepy Book of Sayings from MC.

‘People say life is the thing, but I prefer reading’.

'The public library is the most dangerous place in the town’. – If he’s in it.

'When I write a book, I’m making it the best book I can' - I rest my case.

On the Speed Dating front, I have been contacted by the guy who still lives with his mom, and I can’t stop fantasizing about joining the mile high club with Pete. This has the makings of a porno title. If Pete’s plane is really only a two-seater, we will be shagging in the cockpit. I realise that you might be thinking, “If she’s joining the club with the pilot, who’s going to fly the plane? I’m pretty sure two-seaters don’t have autopilot. And what the hell are those air traffic controllers going to think? They’ll be screaming with laughter and we’ll hear a nasally voice shout, ‘Switch the radio off if you’re watching porn on your laptop, we’re getting frustrated down here.’”  

I think the testosterone is kicking in because I’m starting to understand how difficult it is for a school boy to sit still in class for 1 hour without fantasizing about the chemistry teacher sitting on his face and performing acts only one of the Vaudeville artists could accomplish.

I asked the documentary company if we could do something a little tamer than tackling the Bulgarians and suggested one of South Africa’s latest and most popular forms of robbery - bombing ATM machines to get the money out. This crime has replaced cash-in-transit heists and the police have recently broken the back of the syndicate.  I tried to convince them by saying there should also be some good camera surveillance footage they could use, but they didn’t bite so I told them about the other criminal fad at the moment - kidnapping wealthy businessmen and holding them for ransom. The way it works is a syndicate lures a businessman to SA and kidnaps him at the airport. I read on the weekend that this has just happened to a Swedish and Japanese businessman. The commercial crime unit is handling these cases and it seems as if the Nigerians are mostly linked to these crimes, although the South Africans are catching on quickly.

The Brits came back with this list:

Interviews with journalists, victims, gang members past and present, law enforcement officers (in anti-gun or high flyer unit or abalone smuggling). Actuality sequences following some action e.g. a police raid or paramedic unit on patrol during the evening. (I wonder if they realize we use real bullets in South Africa.) Raw actuality action e.g. filming in a tic/crack den, filming a gang initiation, meeting parents of gangsters etc. Archive news reports to back up our stats and stories.